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♫ Stuff In My Head ♫

Sunday, December 19, 2010

I Found A Place In My Heart That Day.

Went for brunch at Wild Honey@Mandarin Gallery over the past weekend to celebrate a mate's BD and came upon a very tasteful and timeless shop.

When I left the shop, I realised there were more display pieces than sale pieces. I wonder how they make money selling the little merchandise that they do.

Well, perhaps making money is not the reason the owner started the shop in the 1st place.

I am thankful I came across that shop that day. It made my day. :)

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Li Bing Bing VS Lin Zhi Ling (D&G)

Who wears it better?


I think Li Bing Bing's skin tone gives her an edge over the dress. Also the shadow casted behind her makes the whole cover pop in a 3D way. She definitely looks more outstanding out of the 2.

Lin Zhi Ling's cover is just so bla.

What's your pick? *winks*

Sunday, December 05, 2010

I wish I could be better than me.

I don't think anyone has a perfect life, no matter how good it looks on the surface. It's what you do with the lemons that life throws you that defines the quality of the life you lead.

The most important thing in my life, is relationships. Without relationships, work means nothing, fun means nothing, food means nothing, life means nothing.

I am well aware that I am not the best person out there, I am not the most patient, I am not the most hardworking, I am not the most understanding. But whatever I am, it is my best. I am trying my best to be the most patient, the most hardworking and the most understanding.

There are still times that I lose that self-control and I yell and scream and vent my frustrations. I see that as a natural way of life. When you hold something in, at some point you have to release it.

I don't understand why I am expected to hold it in and hold it in and hold it in and when I release all that unhappiness inside me, the 1st thing ppl think of is, "there she goes again" and not "wow, it's been a long time since she was crazy like that, she must have put up with a lot".

I know that people don't change. The core traits of what they are remains, only sometimes the traits become less prominent, but it is still there, depending on which side of the scale you are tipping and what kind of mood you catch the person in.

I am trying to be content with what I have and the quality of life that I am leading and honestly, most of the time, I am. But sometimes, I secretly wish things could be better. But that "better" is never achievable. Because, after attaining it, there is always something better than better.

And no one could ever have the best things. Because no one has a perfect life.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

My Favourite Ermenegildo Zegna model.

I wonder how old he is... he looks.. raw. :p

Paying it forward. Forward forward forward x infinity!

I honestly can't believe that after all these time and all the things I have done/not done in order to make us all happier under one roof, she is still harping on the ghosts of the past.

I guess I only have myself to blame for giving her the bad impression from way back then. But if she is adamant about condemning me, what's the point in me trying to make things better? I am not surprised that this is still going on "backstage" but I am just impressed at how good an actress she is. She is truly a scary person to live with and I am glad that after 4 years, at least I have grown to be more matured. At least this time I did not throw an angry fit and confront her like I did 4 years ago. Maybe cuz I know where that will lead me, so this time I choose to keep mum even though I know about all the shit she is saying about me behind my back.

At the end of the day, I do not harbour any ill intentions with the things I do and the words I say. I do not have a guilty conscience and can put my head up high when I walk in that house. If she chooses to interpret my words and actions the way she does, there is really nothing I can do about it.

As long as he knows, I really don't care about what others think. Because I don't owe my life to anyone but me and my family.

I may not be the best daughter-in-law in the world, but that doesn't mean I haven't done my best to be. And only God can vouch for me on that.

And maybe the day she finds out she has been wrong about me all this time will be a long way from now. But I will wait patiently.

This is my "pay-it-forward".

Monday, September 13, 2010

No one does it like Ryan Gosling.

Another Sundance feature. Due for release on the last day of 2010. Can't wait.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

t o o s i c k t o s p e a k

Fever for the 6th day and on all sorts of meds that's taking such a toll on my already weak body.

Gone to see 3 doctors and they don't know what's wrong with me. :(

Monday, July 26, 2010

I love listening to you talk about you!

You know last week I was feeling damn emo. DAMN DAMN DAMN EMO. I suddenly feel that friendships are a lot of work and I may be wrong but I feel like I am the only one putting in the effort sometimes. I am truly tired of it all. It doesn't quite help when I begin to realize that some of my friends are taking me for granted.

I have been crazy calling my friends, trying to get someone to come out and spend some time with me.. I had some troubles at work and I really needed to get it out of my system.

One by one, they told me they're not free, they're working, meeting bf.. bla bla bla. And some of them, I called not once, but twice in that week. And each time I hang up the phone, none of them asked if there was anything urgent. Not that there was, but I mean.. I call them, they ramble on about whatever it is they are busy with, I listen. Then the call ends with either one of the scenario below:

A. Friend says, "Ya so that's what happened lo. Eh I gtg, bye!"

B. I say, "Oh I see.. eh got time not? Wanna meet?"
Friend says, "I can't.. got appointment le. Sorry ar. Next time k? Bye!"

It makes me wonder.. do I really have friends? Maybe I can't tell that ppl don't like me? Even.. *gulp* friends whom I've known for more than 20 years.

Or perhaps my life has never had any major hiccups and even if I did, I was always able to manage on my own, without any help.

But even so, I wasn't asking for help.. I only wanted someone to talk to. No one even asked me the basic question of why I called them in the 1st place. It is very depressing. :(

So last weekend, I was home and sulking. When the husband forced me to tell him what's wrong, I said, "Nobody wants to talk to me. I can't get anyone to talk to me. I listen to everyone talk about their troubles at work, at home, themselves.. but no one wants to listen to me talk abt me anymore."

"I love listening to you talk abt you, isn't that enough?"

At that, I cudn't disagree and I stopped sulking.

Isn't he just the sweetest.

Note: I know some ppl don't like to read about other ppl's lovey-dovey stuff but I am not exactly writing this for other ppl to see. It is more of a reminder for myself, when I am old and grey and perhaps not so happy in my marriage anymore, i will look back at these posts and be reminded of how much he loved me/loves me. So I apologise if it makes you uncomfortable!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Of Bananas and Fruitcakes

I had a very turbulent time last week. To be honest, I kept thinking it was because of my husband. I suddenly had panic attacks about our marriage. I started to think I married too young, and that I was now stuck cuz of that decision I made without even thinking twice.

But I also knew I had many things going on last week and the truth was I had not been able to find anyone close to me to talk about it. And since I thought this was about my husband, he was not one of the people I would look to talk to, though I know for sure he would have dropped everything just to listen to me for a while, had I asked.

So by Friday night, I was literally a volcano waiting to erupt. I had the most horrible day at work, provoked by Banana-face (a colleague@work) who is everything I hate in a girl.

When the husband came home, I just blew up at him, not abt what I was unhappy abt with us (which I still was not able to tell what exactly I was unhappy abt) but abt Banana-face, whom I believed to the bones that she was sent from hell to destroy me.

As I talked to him, tears fell endlessly but as those tears fell, it was like my misery was pouring out of my body. The more I cried, the better I felt. And then all of a sudden, I was back to my old self. Full of love and awe of my husband and how glad I was that he was here with me, despite all the evil things I thought abt when I could not figure out what was causing my temporary depression.

It hit me then that it was my work that was driving me nuts, not him! And the reason why I could not put a finger on my "problem" with him was cuz there wasn't any to begin with! I was just looking at the wrong place. Or perhaps everything at home has been so smooth that even I can't believe it. There had to be something wrong! And so round and round I went in my head, trying to create a problem between us. I can't believe how stupid I've been the past week!

It had nothing to do with marrying too young and not thinking twice abt it. And I hadn't thought twice about it cuz that was how sure I am about marrying this man! And I know I haven't made the wrong choice. He is still the one.

But this really set me thinking.. how scary! one person's thought can change everything. That you can become convinced by yourself when what you are thinking is totally untrue. Had I insisted that I was right about me marrying too young, the night he came home, we would have been sure to go into a big fight and who knows what would have become of us today? Cuz surely, to have said anything like that to someone so close to you would hurt like a bitch and not many couples can survive such fights and carry on with their relationship like nasty words haven't been exchanged.

But it is even scarier to know that you don't know yourself very well. How I was not able to tell what was causing my depression, I cannot understand.

Well, it could be because I have been too comfortable in my previous job that I forgot what it was like to have politics in the work place. Or it could simply have been PMS. I swear, it came and went, just like that!

Anyhow, you can be sure that you will be seeing a lot of mention of Banana-face on my blog from now on.

My gloves are so OFF!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

All by myself.

No one has time for me this week.. not even my mom.. :(

Are you paid to take advantage of the company's resources?

Z: Do you think I can extend my trip a day or 2 so I can go around and see a few places?
K: I am sure that's not a problem but you will have to make sure your dates work out and doesn't interfere with the shop's roster and your manager OK-s it..
N: Unless of cuz, K is willing to help you tweak the schedule a little bit so you have an excuse to stay longer.. then the manager will have nothing to say also.
K: I will do no such thing. All the flights going out are full cuz of the summer holidays in Europe, if I get a seat confirmed for you, you get on that flight and come back! Plus, I don't think the manager will be pleased if I threw that bomb on him so last minute and leave him with no time to re-do the roster.
N: Wa lao.. this K.. open mouth only say wrong thing.
K: This may be the wrong thing to say, but it is the right thing to do!

VERY ANGRY. How is that the wrong thing to say?! How dare she accuse me so openly!

Ya I sore loser, SO?! I am paid to work here and I will do just that. I'm your COLLEAGUE, not your friend! Of cuz I think from the standpoint of the organization, not YOU!

Very Suay Week

1. Had to work late, missed haircut appointment and got scolded by stylist for informing her late. (In fact I called on the dot to cancel, how is that considered late?)
2. Wanted to watch Inception (badly), booked tickets for tomorrow night and got cancelled on today. Now I can't watch movie plus I am left stranded on a Friday night.
3. Been wanting to get out all week but no one seems to have time for me: sister can't go out cuz father in law is on town, friend no. 1 can't go out cuz gotta work, friend no. 2 can't go out cuz gotta acc bf and friend no. 3 has totally gone MIA. Talk about friends when u need them.

It feels as though I have all the things I need but it seems like these are not what I need after all.

What's wrong with me, why am I so unhappy these days? 

Sunday, July 11, 2010

I Hate WC! (But Rejoice! It's o.v.e.r!)

Friday, July 09, 2010

This best describes my A&F Ginza experience!

"Whenever I am in New York, London or Milan, I always make a beeline for an Abercrombie & Fitch store. What makes A&F so irresistible? The feel of a private club, the relentless dance music, the hip, young sales staff with runway-worthy faces and bodies, the semi-dressed models positioned at the door for photos with excited shoppers, the pervasive scent of its Fierce fragrance in the air... they all come together to pull me in like an entranced worshiper.

These sweeteners put shoppers in such a good mood that few of us would exit an A&F store without a purchase and a smile. So what if we're paying high prices for a simple tee? Or if the staff (the same ones with model faces) can't answer our product questions? Here, just take our money."

By: Dr Ng King Kang, Editorial Consultant of ZbBz, June 2010 issue

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Excuse me, have you seen me?

Today has been a strange day.. I let my mind wander to wherever it wanted.. and it led me to strange places indeed.

I can't explain how I am feeling.. except that I feel I may have made some wrong choices in life. I might have had a much more fabulous life had I not made these wrong choices.. and I would not have lost myself along the way. Yes, I feel like I have lost myself.

The Kelly I am today.. was not what I pictured myself to be 10 years ago.

When I was 18, I had big dreams, I wanted to be somebody. I was not afraid to love someone and make it known. I was sure of what I wanted and was even surer that whatever I wanted, I would get them eventually.

I had a group of friends I loved being with. They were fun, they were bold, and they were never ashamed to say what they felt. They were hard-core party animals. We never went home until the sun shone on our fat asses. It was a high and wild life. I thought if one day I was being led astray, it would be because of them. But I was having fun with them and they made me feel like I was special, somebody who made a difference. So I didn't care.

Until one day, I realized they were having way too much fun to genuinely be living a decent life. And that I was so attached to them that it worried me. I wanted to go out with them everyday. That can't be good. All they do is have fun. Also, I liked a guy from that group but he was leading me on. And another guy liked me but I didn't like him. So when things got a little bit complicated.. I ditched them all. The whole group, all of them. Including my crush.. who had everything in common with me. I ditched everything.

I went on my own, and back to my own friends and began leading my own life. The life I thought that was right for me, that was right for everyone else. After all, this was the life that everyone has.. work, eat, date, get married, have babies. And not club, drink, joke, sing, dance and shit.

Today, I stumbled upon one of them on FB. My crush.. who looks like he has not aged one day.. and looks exactly the same as the day I last saw them 10 years ago. From his photos I could tell he was still doing the same things, club, drink, joke, sing, dance and shit. But some things ARE different. He now owns a production company. He has gone back to his music and is now recording his debut album with his band. He still hangs out with the same ppl and wears the same clothes. He is still the same person I fell in love with. And the guy who liked me? He is now a director in Japan. They are all living their dreams and have become somebody.

And me? I am married, miscarriaged, gone totally in the other direction that they did. And living my life like a typical Singaporean. I am 28 with no dreams and nowhere near that somebody I wanted to become. I have become restricted to my comfort zone and not keen in making new friends anymore. I question myself daily what I want out of life and don't know what I am doing with my life everyday except work, eat and go home.

I have totally lost my sense of adventure, confidence and creativity.

At that point, I stopped to think. What would have happened if I had carried on being friends with them? What if I have never craved for that normalcy and just led my life like they did? What if I was meant to become somebody and yet I threw it away?

What if they were my inspiration in life and the biggest influence I will ever have to make it big in life and.. I backed out cuz i was afraid of what lies ahead of me? Or worse.. of being different?

I think about the person I was 10 years ago and.. I don't recognise myself now. This person I see in the mirror.. is not who I wanted to be. Yet I can't find my old self. I don't know where she has gone.

I miss her.

Confusion is an understatement for me right now. This feels more like a realization that hit me hard: that I had missed my final destination in life.

And it's too late now to regret and I am never going anywhere..

except HERE. stuck here. lost here.

Where are you, Kelly?

Monday, July 05, 2010

If this is what SJP looks like in real...

What chance do we commoners have?!

It is all a lie! :(

Thursday, July 01, 2010

I like this.

And what do you think of VB's new do?

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Ermenegildo Zegna Spring/Summer 2011 Full Show

Look out for my boy at 4:25 & 8:55. *sighs..*

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Happy birthday, you.

Sunday, May 30, 2010


Testing out this blogging app from my new iPod Touch.. Woohoo!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010



Monday, May 10, 2010

I hate this part right here.

I have a friend who once had to go for an abortion cuz she fell pregnant after she broke up with her bf. I was young and unmarried then.. I didn't know that it's not good (pantang) to follow someone for an abortion cuz it is like a sin and you are endorsing it. Apparently it will bring bad luck to your own pregnancy when you fall pregnant in future.

The same friend, recently fell pregnant AGAIN, and the current bf does not want it and so she has to go for an abortion again. She has asked me for help to accompany her and as a friend, I truly want to be there for her at this time but at the same time.. I do not wish to be involved.. and I really do not know how to say no. I feel sad for her for always meeting such rotten men but I am also angry with her for not knowing how to protect herself.

I am assuming she does not know about the "pantang" stuff, that's why she is asking me for help. I had just gone through a traumatizing pregnancy which ended in 3 months and I do not feel comfortable going through with this. It reminds me too much of the pain and feels like I am bringing bad karma to myself and my next pregnancy.

I am so angry with her and frustrated with myself for being angry at her!!! HOW??? What should I do?!

Thursday, May 06, 2010

So little time!

I have been crazy busy since I started work on Monday. No time for a detailed post to update! And cuz I have no time for blog posts, I now realize how convenient a tweet is! It allows me to tell ppl what's going in a short and quick tweet!

Follow me @kelleia! :)

Monday, May 03, 2010

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Thursday, April 22, 2010

My Last Day: The Moment

There are a few songs that truly inspire me after listening to it.. but there is only one that really speaks for me even after listening to it countless times. The lyrics ring so true for me and the way it is delivered is very emotional and makes me very 感动 each time I hear it.

Today, on my last day with my current employment.. this song means especially more. I am sad to be saying goodbye to my friends of 3 years here but sometimes goodbye is not a bad thing.. 告别是为延续回忆永恒的华丽.

I will be moving on to the luxurious fashion industry and I am very very looking forward to it. Meantime.. I am savoring my last bits of memory with this office with this song constantly in my head.

I want to thank *him* for being so understanding and not standing in my way of the decisions I chose to make. It might not be the best decision for us, but it is the best decision for me and *him* being able to respect that and be happy for me, is very very encouraging.

Whatever I choose to do in my path ahead, I will not be afraid cuz I know *he* will be there to cheer me on, rain or shine, for better or for worse.

I believe my moment is coming.. It is coming.

The Moment
像最初相信著我会找到自由 自由

Monday, April 12, 2010

Closed for stock-taking...

FB is but a social networking channel, for God's sake!

Why are governments blaming FB for its crime rates? It's not their fault if its users are retarded naive.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

My Monday Blues


If you are a beauty product buff and will be going to TW soon (or knows someone who is going), you have to get this!


This range of facial mask sheets is apparently very popular in TW right now and I had 2 friends go to TW recently and they both bought this for me.

I used it for the 1st time last night and OMG. I have never seen anything like that before! I instantly felt my skin tighten when I removed the mask and it is one of the few masks that didn't sting my eyes when I put it on. The results were pretty amazing!

If you click on the link above, you will see that they have many different kinds of mask catered for different needs such as:
Whitening, Brightening & Firming
Whitening, Firming & Oil Control
Brightening, Soothing & Regenerating
Moisturizing, repairs & improves elasticity of skin

The one I used is for moisturizing, anti-aging, anti-oxidant & restores skin structure.

Other masks available also include:
Cherry Chocolate Mask
Japanese Cherry Blossom
White Peony Tea Mask
Black Pearl Mask
Red Wine Mask

Interesting! The one I used is simply called the "Q10" mask. You seriously gotta use it to believe it. Especially if you are an avid home-mask-user like me!

*Am pretty sure the website takes orders, check it out if you are interested. :)

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Be Naturally Beautiful!

Well it's probably gonna say some things about me for stumbling upon this article on But it's good enough to make me wanna share it, so here goes! I am trying to work on those points I marked in italics! Which I consider the best points in this article cuz beauty is not just about the outside!

How to Look Naturally Beautiful

Nobody needs pounds of makeup to look beautiful. Sometimes, wearing too much makeup makes you seem less confident about the way you look. Also, it looks extremely overdone and is a turn-off to guys. Read on below.

1. Exfoliate your skin to waken it up and give you a healthy glow.

2. Smile daily. You'll reveal a new you.

3. Moisturize your skin daily, this will keep your skin soft daily and will also keep your skin beautiful as you get older.

4. Skip the foundation unless you really, really need it. Heavy makeup hides true beauty!
5. Add some pink blush to the apples of your cheeks (smile when you’re putting it on).

6. Put a little light brown or soft pink eyeshadow on your lids, but keep it natural looking by blending it. Don't use colors like blue, bright pink, or anything sparkly. It will look tacky and not natural. Try not to use tons of eyeliner. Use a brown for lighter complexions, or try black for darker complexions. Make a thin line on top of your lids near your lashes, and maybe a bit on the bottom. Use mascara on the ends of your lashes at the edges of your eyes, at a little extra just at that stop, it really opens up your eyes and makes you feel like a vixen!

7. Apply a lip gloss or lip balm. It has to look like it’s your natural color of your lips and make sure to apply it perfectly and to blend well! Sometimes, applying with your fingers will get a more natural look and less intense if the color is really dark. Also, don’t forget to exfoliate your lips at night and then applying Vaseline for extremely kissable lips.

8. Wear clothes you feel good in, and that define your features. Try to avoid wearing garment that do not flatter your figure such short women; avoid long skirts. And women with broad shoulders, avoid shoulders pads.

9. Always keep your hair brushed. To keep it in place during the day, spray on a little leave-in conditioner.

10. Get your eyebrows waxed (or pluck them yourself- but make sure you know how to do it correctly) to open up your eyes. But don't pluck them too much. If you pluck them too much it looks unnatural. Thin eyebrows are a total turn-off and look completely ridiculous. If you have naturally thick eyebrows just tweeze a little and thank the lord you have such lucky genes!

11. Stand tall with great posture.

12. Make sure to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night.

13. Get fresh air and exercise. Both will give you a healthy glow.

14. Have a healthy diet that includes fruit, vegetables, protein, and enough water. Don't diet too much or you will be so skinny that all of your bones will show.

15. Be confident, that is the ticket to looking truly beautiful!

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Middle Child Syndrome

"The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging. They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling. Being in the middle a child can feel insecure. The middle child often lacks drive and looks for direction from the first born child. Sometimes a middle child feels out of place because they are not over achievers and like to go with the flow of things.

Being a middle child would mean they are loners. They really don’t like to latch on to a person in a relationship, there fore they have trouble keeping one due to lack of interest. Not liking to take the limelight for anything, they are not over achievers and just simply work enough work to get by, and typically that goes with school as well as a career. They are however very artistic and creative. If forced to use abilities they will work well, but do not work well under pressure. They often start several projects but rarely keep focused long enough to finish a project. The best career move for a middle child would be along the lines of using their creative. Going into a writing or journalism career, and into a career that they could freely express themselves would be good. Anything that would have hours that are flexible, and projects that frequently changed would be good for a middle born child. Since relationships are not of high importance to a middle child, often times they are alone. However, the best possible match for a middle child would be a last born."


The only thing from the above that is true for me, as a middle child, is the career part. I do need a lot of flexibility in my work and I do think that I belong to the creative field in terms of writing.. but I never chased my dreams.

But everything else, is CRAP! I value relationships A LOT and I quite enjoy being the middle child!

And also, I define a loner as someone who is incapable of making and retaining friends. So how am I a loner?? I do enjoy spending time with myself, but I do have many friends!

You know, the best thing about being the middle child, is that you are naturally freed from ALL RESPONSIBILITIES! The eldest sibling will normally be expected to do this, to be that, cuz they are the oldest. So me, being the middle child, is spared from a lot of expectations, hence, having more time for self-exploration, to become the person I was born to be, not restricted by any responsibilities and expectations (hence I like to believe that we are more creative).

The next reason, is a personal one. Or rather a personality reason. I have never liked to be looked upon as someone who needs to be baby-ed. That I would not be able to survive on my own if I had been required to be in such a situation. I like to know that ppl think I am a hardy person, like a tough cookie. Independent and confident. Hence, being the youngest in the family would not have helped me much in that area. Which is why I like being the middle child, that I am still playing the older sibling role to someone, despite not being the eldest. Without the responsibilities, of course!

You can call me weird, but I also kinda liked the fact that my mom always paid more attention to my elder sister and younger brother than she did me. Cuz then I was allowed to do anything I wanted, without any supervision (outings with boyfriends, late night escapades with girlfriends etc)! I count myself very lucky that I turned out to be an alright-kid despite given so much freedom during my younger days.

Lastly, because I am the middle child, my older sister has broken all the house rules for me so that when my time came, I no longer had to negotiate curfews or ask for more pocket money cuz someone has already set the standards for me, and they are pretty good, trust me! I guess this is a case-by-case thing, if you are a party animal and your older sibling is a bookworm.... it's just too bad yo! I certainly had a good childhood and it was largely due to my super cool older sister!! She broke all the rules and at the same time, assumed all the responsibilities an older sister should. I guess anyone in my shoes would have loved being a middle child!

So tell me, what is so bad about being a middle child? I loved it and am still loving it!

This post was inspired by Karen Cheng's post here.

Monday, April 05, 2010



If you could have make-up on only one facial feature, which would it be?
My eyes. My theory is to draw attention to your best asset so no one will notice your flaws. And I love my eyes.

When, if ever, would you step out of the house without make-up?
Weekends. I try to let my skin breathe during the weekends. Unless there is an event like a wedding that I have to attend, I will doll up. Otherwise, it's me, my shades and my cap.

Which facial feature are you most insecure about?
None, I like what my momma gave me. But if face shape can be considered a facial feature that I would say face shape. I wish I had a less square jaw.

What are your make-up must-haves?
Shu Uemura Eyebrow Pencil, I don't have much of an eyebrow and this pencil really stays on! MAC Concealer, it's liquid yet the coverage is good. I have had pretty dark eye circles from young so a good concealer is important. I try not to use concealer sticks as they are very drying to the skin around the eye area and causes fine lines.

What is your secret to beautiful skin?
Well there isn't really a secret. I just make sure I remove every bit of my make up at the end of the day and slap on all my beauty products religiously, twice a day. Which is a 7-step regime, btw! Oh and also face masks, I try to do them twice a week.

Complete this sentence: Beauty is... good skin. Because groundwork is important!

Post was inspired from here. I am lacking the courage to post a 素颜照 of myself.. maybe next time. :p

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Spinning around.

Last night I dreamt that you sent me to the train station one morning. And just before I boarded the train to go to work, you held me up and spun us round and round on your heels, I was laughing with my arms wide open above you, your face staring happily up at me. We were spinning in our own world, like no one is around. You told me that if you could, you would go to work with me everyday.

It was a short and silly dream, but I woke up with a big smile on my face.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

A love named lust.

I just accidentally ran into an ex-lover online. I use the word "lover" cuz we were never officially together. Like Facebook says, it's complicated.

U know how there is always this 1 guy (or maybe 2) lurking around at the back of your mind, no matter the fact that you are now happily attached with someone else?

It's not that you are not over the guy or that you wish things could have turned out differently, but you just can't forget him.

It may be the words he said to you, the smell of his hair, the way he looked at you or simply your 1st encounter with him, something about him makes you go soft and wuzzy everytime you think about him, even tho it is long over.

I saw his picture online today.. and my heart stopped. I had forgotten what it does to me, from the 1st time I saw him, to every other time that we went out and up until the last time I saw him, and knowing it was going to be the last, he never failed to sweep me off my feet.

I don't know what it is about him, he makes me catch my breath every time we are together. I have never felt so intense with anybody else ever. It is that feeling of such an exciting rush that keeps me from forgetting abt him completely.

Of cuz, I figured somewhere along the way that it was not love, but lust.

And seeing his picture.. it makes my mind run wild.

W I L D .

I do need to get a hobby now, don't I?

Send some flowers my way!

Monday, March 29, 2010

my empty heart..

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Green Apples Day

I wonder...

I, Robot.

Things haven't been smooth lately:
1. Boss has been PMS-ing at work for more than a month now.
2. I screwed up really bad at work and point no. 1 doesn't help.
3. I am mourning the death of a 14 year-old friendship. (Which still means something to me though things ended really badly. I can't help it, 我是一个很感性的人。)
4. I haven't seen my family for almost a month now, thanks to some inconsiderate human beings who thinks the world revolves around their family only.
5. I feel like I am having a near-30s crisis. I feel a lost of direction and I don't really know where I belong in this world.

The hubby is going away for a week starting tomorrow.. I am dreading and looking forward to it all at the same time. This will intensify my feelings of loneliness lately but will also give me a lot more me-time to do some self-exploration and soul-searching.

And I mean that literally cuz I dunno where my soul's gone to these days. I am like a robot, lifeless and just going about with the daily routines.

And what do you know, robots can't smile. At least this one here can't, I know.

Thursday, March 25, 2010


最近跟一个认识十四年的朋友断绝来往。。 虽然自己知道这并不是一件坏事。。 但是还是忍不住会觉得痛心,为我们的友谊而感到可惜。








让我们永远不再见。 Have a nice life.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


Sunday, March 14, 2010

She is being manipulated.

If there's anything I hate, it is ASSUMPTIONS. I know I know, I make them all the time. But at least I don't say them to a room of 20 ppl and make it sound like I know it for a fact, when it is truly an ASSUMPTION!

I refer to the hot topic in the press, Irene Kng, Wendy Chong, Foyce Le etc. I refuse to name the main person who caused this scandal cuz it will dirty my blog. (and maybe generate unwanted traffic. haha!)

I have to say that the way Mdm Kng has handled this whole affair, calls for a lot of my respect. I am seeing extra-marital affairs from a different POV because of her. I do not know for what reason she chose to do what she did, but it was very brave and to a certain extent, her acts are of and for love. Like she says, love for her family, love for her marriage and love for her kids. (Love for her husband, I dunno abt that.)

When a parent strays, it is not only abt the parents, there are many other factors to consider when it comes to thinking of a solution. And to me, a break-up should never be considered as one of the options of a solution. Even in the case of an adultery. Unless, of course, if it involves multiple cheating cases and a repent-less husband, then it is a different story. But if the parent who cheated is remorseful and willing to change, I don't see why it doesn't deserve a second chance. After all, human beings err. Must one person be judged so harshly based on just one mistake that he/she makes? What more the person we are talking about is the person closest to you. Is it so easy to just break-up?

All those years that you have toiled together, all those memories that you share with each other, all the things that you have both built together in your marriage and your family and your home. It will all account to nothing if we just throw them all away, just because of a moment's folly/anger.

Most imptly, all the love that you have for each other, can it really disappear overnight, just like that?

Sometimes forgiving and staying together is the better option. Though it does not seem that way in a short-term POV. And in Mdm Kng's case, she has gone above and beyond in trying to salvage her marriage and her family's happiness. She holds the key to her family's happiness and the decision she makes will change all of their lives forever. And I believe she knows that.

I believe that LOVE can conquer all, and that as long as you love each other, you can overcome anything. Why destroy it when you are given a chance to make it stronger?

So what is so wrong about her forgiving her husband? I don't understand the furore that has resulted from this whole saga abt Mdm Kng forgiving her husband. Honestly, the family belongs to her, the husband belongs to her, HER LIFE BELONGS TO HER. Who are we to tell her what she should have done or should not?? (The 1st page of yesterday's "Life" section on the Straits Times really got to me with its headline: "Why do women forgive?" And to that, a 2nd person announced to the room of 20 people: "Because we are stupid!" Excuse me, how about, "Because we are looking at the farsight" or "Because we care about our children" or simply cause, "Because I love my husband"?)

And those ppl who make assumptions that "she is being manipulated". Do these people have no love in their lives to understand such a simple logic?

*Most of us will never truly know what goes on in their household but I chose to believe this kinder version of events that I have conjured in my head. Yes, I am also making an assumption but at least I am not shouting in a room for everyone in it to agree with me.

Sunday, March 07, 2010

My Favourite Red-Carpeter@Oscars 2010

I haven't decided, Nicole's ultra cool bohemian-glam or Miley Cyrus' (I honestly hate her) typical yet classy princess frock. Which do you prefer or who is your favourite red-carpeter at the Oscars?The front of the dress.

The lovely back. :)

Feeling all girly, anyone? (What a flattering colour on her!)

Thursday, March 04, 2010

I thought I made myself damn CLEAR.

"We will be home late on Saturday so it will be better to have it on Friday night instead."

Which part of the sentence above makes it unclear that WE ARE NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO MAKE IT ON SATURDAY?!

Seriously, only my in-laws are capable of screwing up something so simple. SO DAMN SIMPLE. I AM NOT FREE ON SATURDAY!!!! Can you understand that?!

As usual, thanks to them for giving away my surprise and RUINING MY PLANS for Saturday (and throwing away my money for me).


Monday, March 01, 2010

Life "LIVE"

Sunday, February 28, 2010

When East meets West

When Takuya is in the house, even Beyonce's beauty fades in comparison.

Oh and hello ppl, I'm HOME! :)

Tuesday, February 09, 2010


Gonna be another long hiatus before you see a new post here because:

1. A close relative just passed away so I shall busy helping out with funeral.
2. Biscuit shop is getting busier as CNY creeps closer. Will be helping out as and when I can over the last few days before CNY.
3. CEO is town this week so everyday in office is a MAD RUSH. No coming to work late and no leaving early. Doing anything personal during office hours is an absolute NO-NO.
4. Because of reason no. 3, I am unable to plan for my upcoming Japan trip in office. Will have to do them in my spare time at home, after I have fulfilled my commitments for reason no. 1 and 2.
5. Japan trip is coming up and I will absolutely not blog when I am in Japan!

Last and final reason, I AM SICK! I am gonna use all the time I have left to catch some ZZZZs before I leave for Japan to build up my body resistance. Wouldn't wanna arrive in Narita sick and faint.

This means the earliest you will hear from me, is Mar 1 (or later) when I return to Singapore (and after all this madness is over).


Last but not least, wanna wish everyone: 恭喜发财,身体健康,心想事成,笑口常开!

新年快乐!恭祝大家,虎年行大运! :)

Monday, February 01, 2010

Back To The Future

I woke up feeling very refreshed and rested and strolled over to my mother-in-law's (MIL) room. Once I stepped in. the smell of baby powder hit me instantly and as I looked at the happy baby in the cot, he smiled up at me and reached out to me with both hands.

I picked him up from his cot and he instantly clung on to me like a koala bear and nestled his face in the crook of my neck, while he coo-ed to himself. I walked him to the balcony and he smiled happily at the gentle breeze that massaged his sweet face.

When I looked down at him, just inches from my face, I saw that he had such big round eyes like mine when I was young and had a small and handsome face that looked a lot like hubby when he was a child this age. He was so beautiful.. so happy.. and so pleasant to be around.

I had to get ready for work so I put him back into his cot, in my MIL's care and I went to take my shower and left for work.

As I left the house and the door closed behind me, I woke up from the dream.

Sigh, it was a dream. I dunno why I dreamt of a boy when the lab test results showed that it was a baby girl that I had. Maybe this boy is my next child.. or maybe it is God's way of reminding me of the reasons I wanted to be a mother in the 1st place.

I had kind of forgotten why over the past few weeks, with so much distractions and so many things happening. I let other ppl influence my decision of wanting a baby and because of them, my plans will have to wait now. They make me so angry and sad that I could not see myself and my reasons anymore. I just wanted to everything to end.

But the dream that I had made me glad again, made me see the possibilities of a happy life that I may have with a baby. Despite all the difficulties I may have to go through with pregnancy, I think the end result will be worth it. It feels as though the dream was showing me a scene from my future, that everything will eventually turn out well, that I will learn to love and trust again.

So with that, I will try my best to put the past behind and start over. To look forward to pregnancy again and of course, to look forward to the time when I will finally have my baby in my arms, smiling that happy, innocent smile at me, surrounded by family who will genuinely be happy for us.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

This song made me so EMO.

Beautiful Mess - Jason Mraz

You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man
And lift him back up again

You are strong but you're needy, humble but you're greedy
Based on your body language and shorty cursive I've been reading
You're style is quite selective but your mind is rather reckless
Well, I guess it just suggests that this is just what happiness is

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well, it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions, dear
'Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick and probably
Have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy depending on how you take these
Words they're paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well, it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
Kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt, oh dear
'Cause here, here we are, here we are

Here we are, here we are
Here we are, here we are
Here we are, here we are
Here we are, we're still here

What a beautiful mess this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes

And through timeless words and priceless pictures
We'll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together
And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But it's nice today, oh, the wait was so worth it

Sunday, January 24, 2010


Ok maybe I over-react sometimes. But I think some ppl really are asking for it. This has never happened to me before and perhaps that is why it has made me so angry! It is preposterous!

I woke up on Sunday, happy and relaxed (and lazy).. sat up in my bed and started FB-ing on my mobile phone. Once I logged in, I saw that I had a new message, so I clicked onto it and saw that it was a poly mate who left me a message. It's queer cuz I have never known this person back when I was in school. He was someone I saw along the corridor and knew that he was from the same school as me. But this wasn't the 1st time he sent me a message, so I wasn't that surprised to hear from him. The 1st time he messaged me, he commented that I photograph nicely and would like me to model for his portfolio for FREE. I was chuckling when I read that cuz he must think I am some amateur at such propositions. Ok I am no professional also, but I have had some experience and I know how these things work. If he were a friend, I would consider doing him a favour but he wasn't and the fact that he was being so assuming and all about himself and his "photographer" status in his message, I declined point blank, saying I do not do such things for free and that I do not have time to spare anyway. He replied saying ok and that he hopes to get a chance to work with me in future.

So when I clicked into his message that morning, I was just groggy and nonchalant about it.. until I read his message:

"Congratulation to your wedding!

Don't mind my comments from Photographer point of view, not sure the style of photographer, is he new? Many picts are out of white balance (eg: many picts are yellowish), distracting angle and etc.

Suggest to do some picts post processing to enhance the picts.


Just to be clear, I copied his message word for word, so don't fault me for the glaring bad grammar and lack of vocab. Those were purely in his own words.

After I read the message, I FUMED! I mean, it is not that I cannot take criticism.. but this is uncalled for! I did not ask him for his comments and what made him think it was ok to just give them?? In the 1st place, WE ARE NOT EVEN FRIENDS!! I have never spoken to him before in my life and we have never ever been properly introduced, I don't even know if we have common friends at all other than the fact that we were both from the same poly. THE NERVE!!!! And he hid his message under the pretense of congratulating me on my wedding, it is such disgusting behaviour!! And he has to stress that he is a photographer to me, otherwise why the CAPS in P in "Photographer"????

The fact that he has no knowledge of me or my photographer, and yet he dares to judge us! There are many factors involved, of course! He didn't even consider that perhaps we are on a tight-budget and all we could afford was a mid-range photographer that shoots pictures "out of white balance"? Or maybe the photographer is a relative, and we got no choice have to let him shoot?? Or that the pictures that I uploaded were the raw photos from the CD-ROM photographer gave me? Meaning unedited and not photoshopped. Or worse, maybe my package comes w/o editing and I edited those photos myself?

See what I mean, he is so assuming!!!!

Truth is, I have no complains about how the photos turned out, in fact, my hubby and I are very happy with them!

It goes to show how low his EQ is, if he has any, that is. And also, what an MALE CHAUVINISTIC PIG he is!

This was my reply to him:

"3 things: 1st of all, I am not a photographer so I know zilch about any of the things you mentioned above. 2nd of all, I am very pleased with how the photos turned out as they are taken for memories' sake and not intended to be submitted for a photography competition. My photographer has effectively captured all the vital and candid shots which I had hoped he would so he definitely did not disappoint me. 3rdly, I don't know what made you think your comments would be welcomed but they are not! In fact, I think you need to be told that your comments will not be welcomed on any of my photos from this point on, professional or not. This has been extremely rude of you and I hope you don't do this to anyone else in future unless the person specifically asks for your input.


With that, I deleted him off my list of friends. HMMMPH! I felt darn good after I sent out that message and deleted him off the face of FB. It might appear to some as over-reacting or extreme.. but I just felt very invaded of my personal views and I had to do something about it.

My friends would know I am not one to be bullied, and this guy had some nerve!!!!

I am curious tho, what would you have done if it happened to you??

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Hello 2010

I apologise for the very long hiatus.. I was going through a difficult time since late Oct last year which lasted all the way until Jan this year.

You see, I was pregnant. the 1st trimester was extremely difficult for me with a lot of morning sickness (which lasted all through the day and night), nausea and loss of appetite. I was losing weight and having difficulty getting around due to the dizzy spells and discomfort caused by nausea. So if you asked me out and I said no during that time, pls forgive me, I really only wanted to curl up in bed all day.

And when I was almost nearing the end of my 1st trimester, the doctor discovered that they cud not detect a heartbeat in my tummy. So that was when the roller-coaster ride began. There were many emotions and factors involved. Sadness, guilt, confusion, anger and fear. Sometimes they came all at once. Some days I just cried and cried until I had nothing left to cry. Some days I just do my usual stuff, trying to be as normal as possible. Other days I just sat there and thought about all the possible outcomes, and start crying. and the cycle repeats.

It didn't help that some ppl around ard me were not understanding and supportive. I will not do name-calling here.

Anyhow, after a whole load of religious lectures (or what they claim it to be) and self-reflections.. I underwent the procedure to terminate my pregnancy on Jan 5 (you know it as abortion but I would prefer to say that I had been forced to terminate it).

It is my 1st day back at work today after resting at home for 2 weeks and I am feeling much better emotionally now that the whole traumatizing episode is over. but physically, I am still healing.. it is constant reminder of the baby that might-have-been and the many factors that made it never-have-been.

At the end of it all, I grew from the experience and share an even closer bond with my husband now. It also made me see through the characters of some. It was not all a bad thing.

I just want to say that my mom and sister have been amazing and simply wonderful during this entire time. There is absolutely nothing I could ask more of a mother and sister.

And my hubby, for being so unbelievably supportive and understanding, even through my tears and tantrums. I now know that there is no one in the world that could possibly love me more than you do.

"Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be." - Author unknown