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♫ Stuff In My Head ♫

Sunday, December 05, 2010

I wish I could be better than me.

I don't think anyone has a perfect life, no matter how good it looks on the surface. It's what you do with the lemons that life throws you that defines the quality of the life you lead.

The most important thing in my life, is relationships. Without relationships, work means nothing, fun means nothing, food means nothing, life means nothing.

I am well aware that I am not the best person out there, I am not the most patient, I am not the most hardworking, I am not the most understanding. But whatever I am, it is my best. I am trying my best to be the most patient, the most hardworking and the most understanding.

There are still times that I lose that self-control and I yell and scream and vent my frustrations. I see that as a natural way of life. When you hold something in, at some point you have to release it.

I don't understand why I am expected to hold it in and hold it in and hold it in and when I release all that unhappiness inside me, the 1st thing ppl think of is, "there she goes again" and not "wow, it's been a long time since she was crazy like that, she must have put up with a lot".

I know that people don't change. The core traits of what they are remains, only sometimes the traits become less prominent, but it is still there, depending on which side of the scale you are tipping and what kind of mood you catch the person in.

I am trying to be content with what I have and the quality of life that I am leading and honestly, most of the time, I am. But sometimes, I secretly wish things could be better. But that "better" is never achievable. Because, after attaining it, there is always something better than better.

And no one could ever have the best things. Because no one has a perfect life.