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♫ Stuff In My Head ♫

Monday, May 13, 2013







Thursday, May 02, 2013

The End Of A Reign.

I think anyone who knows me knows about my relationship with my MIL. I will not say I am the best DIL out there cuz I am not. The fact of the reality is that I could be if I wanted to be but as Forrest Gump puts it very aptly, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you'll never know what you're gonna get." In this case, you'll never know what kind of MIL you're gonna get.

A good relationship takes 2 hands to clap. I can only give if someone wanted to receive. Otherwise it would not be giving, it would be forcing.

After nearly 10 years of trying to get along with my MIL. I hereby declare my mission unaccomplished. I cannot get along with her if she is determined not to get along with me. Whatever I do to win her favor is an eyesore to her and whatever help I render to her is seen as being busybody. There can be no good outcome in such a relationship. 勉强真的不会有幸福!

Starting from I-dunno-when, I have started to give up on this relationship.. From turning a deaf ear to closing one eye, I have done everything I can to keep this relationship work on the surface, to avoid any kind of discord between us. I go against my working style, my principles, my conscience, to make this relationship amiable enough to live together with my MIL.

It has not been an easy journey, but at this point, I am beginning to see the fruits of my labour. Not that our relationship is getting better, in fact, it is just the opposite. It is that as time goes by, people around us are beginning to see through her pretense and my suffering and how she has been bullying me. 这些年我忍的都是值得的。


In the past, when I poured out my grievances to my friends, I always wondered at the back of my head, if I was being too melodramatic, was I being too biased? Is she really as demonic as she seem or did I just make her out to be so? I was confused sometimes. Why was I the only person in the family who saw her as I did? Was it really my problem? I knew in my heart it was not but why wasn't this sentiment unanimous?

I do not know how and why but everyone is slowly starting to see this side of her now and I have been getting a lot more support at home and I cannot describe to you how comforting it makes me feel. All these years, all the question marks in my head, all the unfair treatment I have been getting, it all looks perfectly clear to me now. It is like I have finally found the missing piece of the puzzle.

However, at the end of my misery, I do not feel triumphant. I do not feel glad. I do not feel vengeful. I feel understood. I feel justified. I feel free. Finally, I can be honest to myself, to everyone else. That all this time, I have done nothing wrong and I did not deserve to be treated this way. But I do not want any compensation from her. I do not want an apology, I do not want anything. I just want her to stay far away from me. That is how scary she is.

I know I should try to mend the relationship but like I said, it takes 2 hands to clap. I am human after all and I need time to get over this. At this point I cannot be magnanimous and benevolent to her but hopefully some time in the future I can find it in my heart to repair the damage she has done to my battered heart.