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♫ Stuff In My Head ♫

Sunday, September 02, 2012

A Little While...

Write something. Anything. If I don't... I may even lose this very small part of myself.

Don't get me wrong, I am not lamenting. I am contented with my life now. I have everything I had imagined I would have since I was a little girl. A happy and fulfilling life.

But today, tonight, this warm breeze-less night, I thought of you. 你好吗? You are no longer a part of my life but you have no idea what an impact you made in my life. Because of you, I believe in miracles. Because of you, I learned to love someone else besides myself. Because of you, I have special moments like this that I love to relish and linger in, even for a little while. Because it reminds me of the person I used to be when I was with you. Idealistic and romantic. Happy and carefree. I was a still a girl, a child. There was nothing I could not do. The world is limitless. The world WAS limitless.

I can't remember when, but one day, eventually, I grew up. I faced the harsh reality of life and realised what a small world I had been living in. Life was more than I thought and definitely not a bed of roses. I am lucky that along the way, I had many wonderful people who helped me along. They made it a memorable journey, eventful nonetheless, but memorable.

I look back at the person I was, as a child, and realise how much I have changed. Be it for the better or for the worst, I am happy now. A different kind of happy from when I was with you. This happiness is tangible. I can see it on the faces of the people I love, I can see it in the lifestyle I am leading, I can see it in the mirror every morning. But the intangible happiness I felt with you, the dreams, the telepathy, the songs, the love.. it is priceless.

On nights like these, I close my eyes and hold on to that person I used to be, I hold on to her real tight.. cuz when I open my eyes, I know I have to let go and be thankful that our paths crossed. Be thankful to you for the wonderful memories you gave me. That girl in me never fades away completely because of you.. I am able to appreciate my life now because you gave me the chance to live the life on the other side. I have to say, I am enjoying my life now.

For now, let me dwell in our memories for a while.. just a little while more.