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♫ Stuff In My Head ♫

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

the recent passing of MC King got me thinking a bit. we shud realli live everyday like it's the last.. and i asked myself, wat is the one thing i wud regret not doing today if i died tomoro. and tt is not appreciating my loved ones and telling them how much i love them.

so after a dry spell from my sister for a long time now, i decided to call her last night. didn't haf any agenda but thot we shud jus catch-up. jus listening to her voice and getting up to speed to wat her recent concerns had been, nothing much. made me feel a hell lot better oredi.

everyone lives their lives differently.. and all haf different objectives. some want a successful career, some want fame and fortune.. and for me, i just want emotional satisfaction and stability. these are things i wud give up everything for. i live my life for the ultimate objective of having a happy family of my own.. and a family that is contented and healthy. and if i died tomoro, i wud go peacefully knowing my mom is healthy, my sister is happy and my brother finally grown up. and that i haf done the best i cud to make them proud of me.

and then it occurred to me.. "what abt *him*?"

and i didn't realli haf an answer. there are too many things i want for him and i cannot imagine myself not being a part of it. w/o me.. i kno he wud lose direction for a while.. but eventually, he will find back his drive and motivation.. and emerge stronger than before, better than before. and i will haf to accept the fact tt he will get over me, and he will move on. but wherever i will be, i will be happy for him and his success in life, as long as he is happy.

we talked abt this before and i alwaes told him he has to let me go before him. cuz if he goes before me, i wud not be able to take the heartache and agony.. but in actual fact, i hope he goes before me.. cuz at least i kno i will be with him till his last moment to share all his hopes and fears and be with him till the end to reasure him and comfort him..

我会陪你走完你人生的路,不过你要答应我,当我时间到的时候,你一定要来接我,ok? 不要丢下我自己走,好吗?

it's weird how people from entirely different family backgrounds can grow so close to each other and become more/as impt as ur own family. but when it does, u kno it is something beautiful and u will nv want to let go of its beauty and joy. but when the time comes to let go, it is the time you share the beauty and joy of your love with everyone.. and that is the spark that brightens the world and hope that lights up someone's life during the most difficult times.

i want to give all my strength and blessings to those in need of the spark and hope during this trying time of MC King's passing.. and pray that all will find their channel of comfort to tide them through this tough period.

把握每一天。。 珍惜所有关心你和爱你的人。。 不要让你这一生有任何后悔。。