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♫ Stuff In My Head ♫

Monday, January 21, 2008

a certain ms teo has asked for a follow up to one of my previous posts.. (touched!) firstly i must apologise for not writing abt this earlier cuz it is jus as impt to me as it is to *him* and his family. but i had been too deeply poisoned by 宥嘉 the past week to sit down and realli write abt wat happened.. *paiseh* and so here it is!!

so i mentioned in my past entry that i had been invited to *his* plc for dinner.. but the family is so busy that they haven't been able to set a date for which everyone can make it. and like i said previously.. i dun feel that i owe his entire family an explanation for our being back together. and also, i was realli freaking out abt this dinner invitation.. going to his plc for dinner with his family is such an intimidating thought.. i dunno how to behave at the dinner table.. cuz i dunno how i am being perceived at that very moment.. it wud b so damn bloody awkward.. and so i suggested meeting up with his mom prior to the dinner, just the 2 of us. after all.. i feel that she's the only person i realli haf to answer anything to.

making the call was harder than i thought. i dialled the number so many times only to hang up before the 1st ring. and when the ringtone finally came through, i wished it wud ring forever.. but of cuz it didn't.

me - "hello, hi auntie."
she - "hello? oh, kelly! i recognise ur voice!"
me - "ya it's kelly here.. how are you?"
she - "i'm ok! you?"
me - "i'm fine too. auntie, are you free today or tomorrow? i was thinking of bringing you out for dinner or coffee or something.."
she - "yes yes i'm free later today.. but i am out marketing now so i will give you a call back when i am done, ok?"
me - "ok, sure. i will wait for your call then. bye."
she - "ok, bye!"

after i hung up, i felt heaps better. cuz i cud hear from her voice that she had been happy to hear from me. she had no idea i was going to call her before that so i know her reaction was a genuine one..

a few hours later she called me back and we arranged a time and place and met up later that day. it was so nerve-wrecking sitting there and waiting for her to turn up. and when she did.. i tried to smile as naturally as i can.

me - "auntie."
she - "kelly.. how are you?"
me - "ok la.."

after that we went on to talk abt some 有的没的.. i tried to broach the topic but i jus cudn't.. i didn't kno how to start. and she finally asked me, "你几时要来我家吃饭?"

and i replied her, "你没有请我,我哪里敢去?" and i realli meant that when i said it.. after all, she was the one who banned me from her plc.. i cudn't possibly show up without an invitation, right?

her reply to my answer was realli very heartwarming, i actually cried.

she - "你几时都可以来啊,我们是一家人嘛,随时都welcome你。"

and she said that holding both my hands. and when she saw that i was crying, she continued, "我们不要吵架了啦.我们开开心心的过年,ok?"

after that, i calmed myself down and said my piece.

me - "i kno u might not blame me for wat happened, but i still want to make some things clear cuz i feel that i owe u an explanation for my past behaviour. i think that there are many misunderstandings between us. maybe we misinterpreted each other's intentions.. but at the end of the day, it is necessary and impt that we haf a relationship with each other, even when *he* is not ard.. none of us has done anything wrong.. jus that we are different. i hope u can accept our differences and i can assure u that if we both put in some effort, we can achieve the relationship that we want and that *he* will be happy."

i had a long talk with *him* prior to meeting his mom.. and we figured this was the only way i wud be able to have a real relationship with his mom. not that i didn't mean wat i said, cuz i meant every word. the difference this time is that i made the 1st step to being sincere and truthful and i hope in time to come, she wud do the same.. and not do wat she did to me previously. the last thing i want is to put him in a spot and if i haf to give in to his mom 1st, then i will. after all, it is not like i did nothing wrong to begin with. i had, at times, behaved like a princess when i stayed with them and that.. is not right. so i apologize for the things i haf done wrong.. maybe soon enough, his mom will realise wat she did wrong too.

and so that was it. even if i go for dinner at *his* plc now, i wun feel intimidated cuz i haf spoken my piece and she knows wat is gg thru my mind. i will not be afraid to smile and haf fun at dinner.

wat good issit to make an enemy instead of a fren, right? maybe this experience will help me to grow up, make me a more patient and understanding person.. i dunno.. but i kno one thing for sure.. if i keep on doing the right things, nothing will go wrong. and so, i will do jus that.

ms teo, this update detailed enuff for u? :p