kellykylie

moving out of nat's place and to the new plc in a few days.. not feeling too excited abt it cuz the landlady gives me the impression that she isn't big on being nice. i did mention previously that i liked the fact she tries to keep the privacy between her family and me in the house by not being too friendly to me. but i think it's a bit too unfriendly when i sms her regarding the move-in and she replies with one-word answers. it jus doesn't make me feel like i am going to be comfortable in her hse.

i can oredi foresee myself hiding in the room most of the time i'm "home".

we met agus and sally yday to go through the final itinerary and other vital details of their customary wedding next Thursday. and agus suddenly popped the question, "when are u guys getting married? everyone i invited to my wedding commented that they thought you guys would be the 1st."

i jus stared into space. and when *he* turned to me and asked, "eh, he asking you leh." i felt a bit stung. as if i am in any position to decide this. i felt like screaming at the top of my voice, "the empress dowager has yet to let down her defences on me, and as long as she doesn't, we will not get married!"

why does the fate of my happiness have to lie in her evil clutches?? is this realli an act out of love for her son?? or just plain selfishness on her side?? i just cannot stress on how much i hate the dowager now. NV HATED ANYONE MORE!!!!!!!!!

*he* will be leaving for Shanghai nex weekend and i'm going to be alone.. :( end of Jan he is going to HK and then i will be alone again. By the time he returns, it will be CNY and if the dowager still bans me from appearing before her, that means i will be alone too, still.

do i realli deserve this huh? i am realli starting to get impatient.. but i mus not lose to the dowager, NEVER. i gotta hang on!!

2008 is coming.. seriously, 2 years ago, i imagined myself married and happy by now. how many more 2 years do i haf to wait??

my 2008 new year resolution - i just want to be happy..