kellykylie

room hunting. i wish i cud jus skip this part and move into the perfect place. but, the perfect place is something i cannot afford. accessible, near amentities, fully furnished (with furnitures that i actually like), with nice landlords/tenants (who will leave alone when i want to be left alone and talk to me when i want to be talked to) and convenient for *him* when he wants to come visit.

T O U G H. if all of that can fit into my tiny budget, it wud b a miracle.

but well, if i haf to live thru it, i'll live thru it. hope the selection process wun b too taxing.. i've done it b4, realli dun wanna go thru it again.. :(

feeling the usual depression again. haven't done the work i shud haf done in office, haven't rejected the offer i haf been offered at BBDO, feeling annoyed at certain individuals who keeps barging into my privacy (whatever i haf got left). seriously, damn frustrated.

i haf a lot of frens, i got along well with my colleagues (and ex-colleagues), i also haf my family tt sometimes i feel are non-existent, i also haf a bf.. how come i alwaes feel so alone? think not gg home to a family realli makes a lot of difference. i used to not like being ard ppl.. but i think now i am happy to haf ppl ard, sometimes. i dun feel so.. lonely.

one thing for sure, i am more independent than a lot of ppl i kno. i seriously haf no idea where i got that from. i mean, i didn't haf a struglle growing up as a child or anything. i was like any normal kid, staying home with family on sundays, gg to sch on weekdays and hanging out till late after sch with a 6pm curfew, gg out ocassionally on saturdays with the same sch mates. i've 1st travelled with frens on my own without my family when i was 17. 2nd time i travelled by myself without anyone i knew on the plane was when i was 19. now that i look back, i think my parents were pretty lenient with me. they also had a lot of trust in me. maybe tt is why i turned out this way. quite fearless, but probably too trusting. but nevertheless, independent.

those 2 months that i'd gone without *him*, i thot i did a pretty good job, looking back now. sure, i cried a lot when i was alone. but other times, i was quite normal. i didn't need a rebound guy, nor did i need frens to keep me occupied. i was ok by myself. fiona said i was very strong, i'd tell her, i'm jus determined, and very impatient. if i set my mind to do it, i'd get it done in the shortest time possible. (hence, i alwaes end up making a lot of decisions i regret later on.)

been reading a lot of romance novels lately.. kinda ignited my love for writing again. when i was in secondary school, getting an A for compositions was no biggie. i got that all the time. i wrote many short stories on my own back then.. but i've left them all at the old house when i moved and nv managed to get them back. i secretly harboured the thoughts of becoming a writer professionally.. and the urge has suddenly come back now.. as i read the novels, i think to myself constantly, "if i were the writer, i'd do it this way, phrase it that way". i think one of these days i will pick up my pen and start writing again. (or rather pick up my laptop and start typing. :p)

"You have a natural flair for writing." - my most favourite comment from an English teacher i did not like very much back in sch.

"You are a very good storyteller." - my most favourite comment from my most favourite English teacher back in sch.

aiya, this is my blog leh, let me boast for a while la. :p