kellykylie

i finally met him yday. or shud i say, he finally met me yday. i felt so guilty, i cudn't look him in the eye when i spoke to him for the 1st 5 minutes. but i cannot describe how happy i was to see him, even tho there were more tears than smiles on my face during the one hour talk.

the talk went better than i had expected, even tho it did not end the way i wanted it. there was a stark difference in the last time we spoke and how we spoke last night. we were very careful with our words and even intonations. he was extremely attentive, and very encouraging. he still spoke the same way he alwaes did, but there were a certain tinge of gentleness in his voice.

at the end of the conversation, he still asked for more time to think abt it. i was disappointed, but not too dejected. cuz i cud sense a lot of hope during the whole conversation. before i left, i told him tt i missed him a lot. and he also replied with the same words. i felt more than contented to hear tt.

still i walked away in tears. the hug i imagined myself giving him, did not happen. the hurt was still written on his face, and also on mine. i thot it was a bit too soon to have tt warm embrace. even tho.. i had realli wanted to reach out and touch him so many times during the talk.

so now we wait. it's funny but i feel like i've jus gone for an interview and am now waiting for THE phone call. but if u ask me, i think the "interview" went realli well.

i dunno whether nat will read this.. but if u do, pls dun be mad at me.. i didn't mean to lie to you abt where i had gone last night.. i kno u wud not haf allowed me to go if u knew.. but i hope u can understand tt i realli think it had been my fault this time. he is not as bad as i haf told u.. u kno i am an extremist and i exaggerate more often than not. he is realli good to me when i look at the big picture.. i want to give it one last shot this time.. i hope u will happy for me.

if i dun blog for a long time to come.. i hope it is cuz i am too busy patching things up with him.. and not vice versa.. i realli hope i can do it this time.

have a little faith in me, everyone.