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♫ Stuff In My Head ♫

Monday, June 08, 2009

When A Friend Goes Bad, Dump It.

i have a really good friend whom i've known for 18 years of my life now. i can safely say that we've gone thru a lot throughout our friendship from primary sch, to secondary sch, to our different career paths and now that we are both abt start our own families.

as a pri sch kid, she was a wild child. she would lock our classmates inside the toilet cubicles and laugh mercilessly outside or throw a ball of wet tissue at you for no reason. some would call her hyperactive, others naughty. i had always been the one friend who was able to control her wild way ways in sch, strange to speak.

in sec sch, she became a different person. it was like she had enough of her playful nature (or maybe she just grew up). she became this sweet and considerate friend, who would look out for me in sch and speak up for me against other frenemies. we knew each other inside out and were inseparable.

after we graduated from sec sch, we kinda went on to have other friends from all walks of life, her wild character surfaced from time to time with them.. but she was a young adult now so was able to draw the line between good, clean fun and outrageous fun on her own. sometimes i would check in with her when i felt she was getting a little bit out of hand and she would listen to me with no questions asked and returned to be being my sweet and considerate friend.

but as the years gone by.. her wild side surfaced more and more. perhaps due to the nature of our work being so different yet so intertwined with our lives, i am less able to relate with her these days. she works long hours while i hold a stable 9 - 6 job. she bosses ppl ard while i listen to my bosses. she has to be bitchy and demanding to make sure her work gets done while i have to refrain from being too aggressive at work lest colleagues ostracize me from the circle of trust.

one thing abt her that has remained constant from the time i knew her, is her time management - which is zilch. she is NEVER on time, and never had to wait for anyone since she is always the latest even though her watch is set to 15 minutes faster than the actual time. so she doesn't know the feeling of having to wait for someone.

the record time i have waited for her so far, is 3 hours. and that was probably wat set off my irritation since.

i've tried to get it across to her many times, using ALL ways. it is rude. it is inconsiderate. and it is tiring. if you know you are gonna be late or not gonna be able to make it at all.. say so earlier. dun let ppl wait. if your time is precious, then so is ours. let's not waste anyone's time, right?

she would always just smile and try to change the topic. like it means nothing to her.

and when for the umpteenth time she was 1 and a half hour late, i kinda resigned to fate that God had sent a friend such as her to test my patience. (which is as good as a sitting duck's by now.)

After 1 and a half hours when Friend finally shows up:
Friend - "I'm sorry."
Me - "You should be."
Friend rolls eyes.

WTF was that?? You say sorry then you roll your eyes?! I waited 1 and a half hours, FRIEND! And that rolling-eyes act was not testing my patience, it was testing my TEMPER!

I complained to Hubby abt this later that day and he commented: "Maybe you are just not important enough for her to be punctual."

I never thought about it that way, i just thot it was her wild side resurfacing, more aggressive than ever. after all a leopard would never change its stripes. she was just being her, the way she was back in primary school.. and instead of standing behind her pulling her back like i used to, i am now on the receiving end this time.

and maybe.. perhaps.. possibly.. hubby is right.

I am never meeting her again. NEVER EVER.