now i'm preggers, now i'm not!

oops. sorry for the lack of updates. it's just that my life has been such a bliss lately that there is realli nothing for me to rant abt. as is the purpose of this blog. :p

but well.. today i am going to write abt something close to the heart. LITERALLY close to the heart..! my breasts!

before you break out in laughing fits, lemme tell u y i am writing abt my humble assets.

as most girls would understand, during that time of the month, or rather, slightly before that time of the month known as PMS, some of us will have headaches, backaches, mood swings and constant cravings. and for me, i get the most horrible sore breasts. they hurt so much that sometimes i try to walk as gently as i can. yes they hurt even as i walk!

so wat happened was, last week during my PMS period.. i had the worst sore breasts. they hurt like a bitc*, i swear! but then i started to count the days on my calendar.. not right leh.. they are not supposed to hurt until 2 weeks from now! (yes, i count every single day of my cycle.. they have been very very accurate so far!) but well, i thot.. maybe it's just come early this month.. let's wait and see.

but no. it did not go away. it hurt more the next day. and even more the next day. and the next day of the next day of the next day, i awoke in the middle of the night startled by the pain. it was unbearable. i stayed awake the whole night thinking, wat was wrong with them? why are they hurting so much and for so long? i dun remember them ever staying so sore for so long. then i started to count the days on my calender again..

uh oh.

could i be... preggers???

and from that day on.. i lived everyday thinking that i might be preggers. when i walked, i walked slowly. when i was hungry, i ate immediately. when i had a craving, i made sure i took care of it. when i reached for something cold to drink, i reminded myself that i cudn't. i spoke to my colleagues with kids and subtlely probed abt the early days of their pregnancy. i even decided to wait until i missed my next period before i would get it checked.

i lived like that for a week. and last night, i felt the soreness in my breasts change into something else. it became a dull, throbbing pain. nothing like the kind of soreness i experienced before.

i started to have second thots abt being preggers. wat if i wasn't preggers.. wat it my humble assets were sick? :(

i made an appointment with the doctor 1st thing this morning and when i saw the doctor at lunch time, she asked me many questions, touched and probed my assets and finally said, "You have dense breasts."

WHAT THE HELL IS DENSE BREASTS??? Small breasts i kno. Flat chest i kno. but dense breasts??? WTH?!

the sweet doctor went on to explain that breasts are made of fats and body fluid. and apparently i have little fats and more fluid. (yes, i know there were not much fats in them long ago.) and the reason why it hurts now is because there is simply too much fluid in them and they are unable to drain away. hence, is causing the discomfort. this is also one of the PMS symptoms called water rentention. apparently i have it more serious than others.

the doctor then offered to either gimme painkillers or medication to expedite the draining.. but on the other hand, it wud go away with time, in a matter of weeks. so i decided to do it the au naturale way. i didn't want to be the 1st person to take painkillers cuz of sore breasts!

well.. now that i kno i am not preggers nor is there anything wrong with my humble assets, i feel much better. altho i do not mind being preggers tho. *motherly instincts kicking in once again!*

and this.. is the story of my sore breasts. i wonder if ppl got MCs for sore breasts? *Kekeke!*