kellykylie

i've said it a million times, and i will say it for another million times if i haf to.

Relationships are so hard.

why do ppl haf to make simple things so complicated? or maybe i am the only person left in this world who is so simple-minded.

if 2 persons like each other, jus get tgt, right? wat's so hard abt tt?

wat's hard, is when u haf issues. issues with another person, or maybe issues with urself.

maybe i haf been out of action for too long, i dunno how to play the dating game anymore. rules haf changed since i last reigned in the game.

so des and i are not gonna work out after all. at least i've tried and now i kno. at least i will not stay up late at night thinking abt the wat-ifs with des again.

one more man to prove to me that *he* was the best. other than the fact tt he was a momma's boy. at least he's nv lied to me, has alwaes been matured in his thinking and responsible for his actions. and he is only 26? des is 31 for freaking goodness sake! i guess age is realli jus a number. i will nv be fooled again.

life hasn't been the same lately. i am finding that calm and peaceful self more these days. and i like it. even if i kno des is playing me, i am not angry. it is his own karma. i haf done nothing against my conscience and i haf done all i shud haf done.

i told fiona yday, i like wat i haf with des now, compared to wat i had with *him*. at least i kno wat i want to do with him. with *him*, it was alwaes, shud i break up with him? shud i stay with him? and it were these very questions tt made me a realli unhappy person. now tt *he* is out of my life, i can see clearly wat i want.. or rather wat i dun want. i jus want to be single and happy for now.

tonight is gonna b a big night. it is an ex-colleague's last day and they are holding a big going away party for him at Blujaz. a uniform party! i haf rented my british guard uniform and am super excited abt it. will definitely post those pictures up here when i haf them.

after tt party, i am heading over to zouk to join fiona. i kno des will b there.. i am having mixed feelings.. i want to go there to see him.. but i also wanna go there to ignore him.. jus to see how he wud react. i kno this is childish.. but.. he is realli hitting me on all of my weaknesses.. my biggest weakness is him.. i give in to temptation every time i see him. i pray tt i haf the strength to stand firm tonight when i see him.. i will not let him mess with my mind again.

nat.. i kno u r concerned abt me getting myself hurt all over again.. but i want to assure u tt i kno wat i am doing.. i will not shed a tear for him, i promise u. :)

I am a WOMAN, hear me ROAR!