kellykylie

had lunch with fiona today.. and after talking for 2 hours with her.. i realised all the men that has come into my life the past month, are all men from the past. jason, zhong li, nicholas, except only william who is the new addition. :p i dun seem to be capable of moving away from my past.

as the days draw nearer to my HK trip, my mind is more and more in a rollercoaster ride. i am happy to be going.. but he is keeping my mind here.. i dun miss him, but i still think abt him, i dun love him, but i still care for him. i dun wan to get back, but i still wanna hear from him. i'm jus neither here nor there.

btu now i kno, i can do without him after all. the world is still functioning, my life is still living. nothing much has changed, except i dun haf someone to ramble to, tt's all. in fact, things haf gotten a lil bit better. i haf my own space now, which i seem to haf forgotten how much i loved it. i haf sacrificed my own likes for him in the past. i am slowly finding my life back.. finding back tt very strong person i used to be. i allow myself to be weak when he is around.. but tt weak person is gone now. :) i no longer cry at night before i sleep.. i caught myself singing a Sammi song last night just before i shut my eyes. :)

jus the way he is handling it is so wrong. like tony said, "silence periods like these are nv useful, the longer it is being dragged, the worse it becomes." and i absolutely agree with tt. problems shud b solved immediately. if u leave it alone, not only will it not get solved, after some time, u forget wat this "break" was for. wat purpose does tt serve? at least nothing for me. i jus dunno wat he has to think abt for so long. it's a simple yes or no to me. if i haf to weigh all the pros and cons, i wud jus screw it. it probably isn't worth my time at all.

only thing i can conclude, is tt he does not haf the guts to tell me wat he realli wants to say. so he is jus leaving it there, not thinking abt it, not touching it. and tt to me, is totally unfair. i am not gonna sit ard and wait, i am moving on. this time with a smile on my face. i am welcoming my new life with open arms, and an open mind. like ADIDAS says, IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING!

ladies and gentlemen, i am back.