kellykylie

feeling very down. the got-bf-like-no-bf feeling is back and i realli feel like crap. i keep reminding myself that i wud rather b upset over this than upset over not having him in my life forever.. but somehow i am still very affected and it is making me realli demoralized. issit still gonna b like b4? can we realli go back to how we were like b4? i realli dunno.

we haven't spoken on the phone for the past 2 days.. only sms-es. i absolutely understand tt he has been so busy.. when he gets home he only wants to rest.. but i dun even get a good night msg from him.. the last msg of the day from him is normally the i'm-home msg. and it stops there. :( i dun feel like i am part of his life anymore. even tho i dun care abt the mother anymore, i feel upset tt at least when he goes home, she gets to see him.. and i dun even get to talk to him. :( :( :(

ok i can feel the green monster coming out of me again.. i realli gotta control myself.. cuz i kno if i can curb this feeling, life ahead will be so much easier for me.

i am looking forward to this weekend.. i hope he will make me feel more secure abt us and our r'ship.. :/