24 Weeks

I had a very eventful week last week.

I was hospitalized for the 1st time in my life last Wednesday due to stomach flu. I was vomiting the entire night on Tuesday and by Wednesday morning, I was completely washed out and had absolutely nothing left in my body.

I was asked to be admitted by my gynae for fear of dehydration which could lead to contraction of my uterus and prompt a pre-term delivery. So I checked into Thomson Medical Centre directly after seeing my gynae and she started me on drip that morning until the next. I had 6 packs of fluids (each 500ml) given to me and only by the 5th pack did I start going to the toilet.

It was amazing how when you are on drip, you don't feel hungry at all. I did not eat a morsel of food for 2 days straight and yet I didn't feel hungry. Or maybe I was just too sick to want to eat anything.

I figured that being put on drip would be a good way to lose weight! But I felt very very bloated for the whole day even after being removed from the drip.

I was discharged late Thursday afternoon even though my gynae had asked me to stay for one more day. (I had a wedding dinner to attend the next day & I did not want to miss it!) I regretted my decision immediately when I reached home cuz I felt unwell again and had to stay curled up in bed to wait for it to pass. I only had 1 meal that day.

The next few days I felt very disappointed and depressed with myself. I have not been watching what I eat and I've been so careless with my food choices. I ended up with stomach flu and now gynae says now baby is underweight. :( I feel like such a bad mother already. I spent the whole day yesterday at home crying and I could not help it. I just felt so depressed. I hope it is just my hormones. This also worries me cuz I think I might have post-natal depression.

I am worrying so much and about so much. Hubs asks me not to give myself so much pressure but I can't help it. Who doesn't want the best for their children? I am just so angry with myself for not being able to take care of bubs at this early stage and with something so easy to do.

Now at 6 months, and with 3 more months to go, I feel like it is such a long journey ahead. I pray I will not make another mistake and endanger bub's well-being again.

I also hope I won't get additional stress at work and at home.. I just want the next 3 months to pass without any hiccups and as eventless as possible..

*with all my fingers and toes crossed, and with a little help from God hopefully... *