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♫ Stuff In My Head ♫

Sunday, November 13, 2011

24 Weeks

I had a very eventful week last week.

I was hospitalized for the 1st time in my life last Wednesday due to stomach flu. I was vomiting the entire night on Tuesday and by Wednesday morning, I was completely washed out and had absolutely nothing left in my body.

I was asked to be admitted by my gynae for fear of dehydration which could lead to contraction of my uterus and prompt a pre-term delivery. So I checked into Thomson Medical Centre directly after seeing my gynae and she started me on drip that morning until the next. I had 6 packs of fluids (each 500ml) given to me and only by the 5th pack did I start going to the toilet.

It was amazing how when you are on drip, you don't feel hungry at all. I did not eat a morsel of food for 2 days straight and yet I didn't feel hungry. Or maybe I was just too sick to want to eat anything.

I figured that being put on drip would be a good way to lose weight! But I felt very very bloated for the whole day even after being removed from the drip.

I was discharged late Thursday afternoon even though my gynae had asked me to stay for one more day. (I had a wedding dinner to attend the next day & I did not want to miss it!) I regretted my decision immediately when I reached home cuz I felt unwell again and had to stay curled up in bed to wait for it to pass. I only had 1 meal that day.

The next few days I felt very disappointed and depressed with myself. I have not been watching what I eat and I've been so careless with my food choices. I ended up with stomach flu and now gynae says now baby is underweight. :( I feel like such a bad mother already. I spent the whole day yesterday at home crying and I could not help it. I just felt so depressed. I hope it is just my hormones. This also worries me cuz I think I might have post-natal depression.

I am worrying so much and about so much. Hubs asks me not to give myself so much pressure but I can't help it. Who doesn't want the best for their children? I am just so angry with myself for not being able to take care of bubs at this early stage and with something so easy to do.

Now at 6 months, and with 3 more months to go, I feel like it is such a long journey ahead. I pray I will not make another mistake and endanger bub's well-being again.

I also hope I won't get additional stress at work and at home.. I just want the next 3 months to pass without any hiccups and as eventless as possible..

*with all my fingers and toes crossed, and with a little help from God hopefully... *


jooja! said...

dearest kelly, you once told me i think too much. i can only say the same thing back to you now. it's hard not to worry at all, but always, you should remind yourself that your little one will be feeling all the emotions you're going through, so you should stay positive and be a happy mum for him. don't worry yourself sick. make sure you eat well and get lots of rest. when you're feeling down, just tell yourself that it's only momentary and the bad feeling will go away. it works for me sometimes. or try singing to him, or read to him? you may calm yourself down too.

can't wait to see you next week! stay cheerful babe!

kellykylie said...

It's always easier to say it to others than to heed your own advice, isn't it. :S

I am better today! It could be my hormones talking that day. Thanks for the love anyways!! xx