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♫ Stuff In My Head ♫

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

My boy is 3 months old today.

I have been a mother for 3 months now and it feels like a lifetime to me. It means I am so used to having Issey around that I cannot imagine my life without him. It could also mean that he has taken up so much of my life that I kinda don't remember the life I had before he came along.

But, of course, I do.

Those weekends where I took a random bus route, not knowing where it would bring me. I would pull out my sappy playlist on my iPod and enjoy the ride wallowing in fictitious bad romances and love-gone-wrongs, while the soundtrack of my life plays in my ears. I was romantic like that.

Those nights when I return home from work and just lounge around, not waiting for anyone, not having anything to do. I just spent the entire night watching SATC seasons 1 to 6 back to back.

Those late nights when I would dress up like a doll and go out for supper with my girlfriends at prata-tiams. The dressing up was the best part, of cuz.

Those weekend afternoons I spent snoozing on my bed, getting out of bed only to eat and pee.

That person feels so distant and unfamiliar. Was that really me?

Today I took Issey for his 1st bus ride, it lasted for less than 10 minutes but the journey was more memorable than any bus ride I have ever been. Everything was so foreign to my boy and he was startled at every single sound in the bus. His oohs and ahhs replaced my sappy playlist in my iPod. If only I could turn those sounds into a song, it would be a mother's favourite song.

Now that Issey has learnt to fall sleep on his own, he is normally knocked out by 8PM every night. Which means after 8PM every night, I kinda have my old life back a bit. For a few hours, I can kick off my shoes, let my hair down and lounge around.. until Issey's next feed rolls around.. and I am back to being a mom. And when I see my boy after those few hours I so crave for throughout the day, I find myself missing him and I kiss him about 100 times before I finally give him his milk.

And when Issey goes back to sleep after his last feed of the day, I still wake up every 3 hours to check on him, even though he no longer wakes up on time throughout the night for his feeds. I guess he trained me well during the 1st 2 months, I now wake up on time, just like he did.

My boy is 3 months old today.

He may still only be a baby, but he has completely changed my world and me. I don't have to dress up to impress him, in fact, I don't have to do anything to impress him, and I am already his most favourite person in the world. He can't speak or express himself but from the way he watches me, smiles at me and coos at me, I know he loves me.

Mommy loves you too, baby. I could tell you 101 things I miss about the life before you but at the end of the day, it will always be you. My perfect, precious, beautiful baby.

Please always be happy and healthy. Happy 3 months old! :)


Anonymous said...

hello, I'm new in blogging, so I'd like to read other blogs...and today I bump into yours:) I have a baby girl, too. She is just 50 days old:) I started to write about my pregnancy and post-natal experiences, but in Turkish, so probably you are not going to read it! Anyway I really enjoyed your posts, same feelings and difficulties we've faced...I'll keep tracking your posts! take care