四点金 - Curse in disguise?

I was reading a forum thread on Singapore Brides about future mothers-in-law (MIL) buying (or not buying) 四点金 for their future daughters-in-law (DIL).. and I am shocked that so many people actually find this VERY important, so much so that when they find out their future MILs are not buying the 四点金 for them, they feel that the wedding is all "screwed up".

the most ironic part abt it is, some of them claim to be "very traditional" people, hence requesting for 四点金. Then when questioned if either the bride or groom is teochew, they say, "No, but these days 四点金 are given to non-teochews also". So much for being traditional!

Seriously, that is a bit too much, isn't it. A marriage isn't about fleecing from each other's family, it is about the UNION! it is pretty ridiculous, the reasons these brides-to-be conjure up, as to why their future MILs are not buying 四点金 for them/why they feel it is a NECESSITY:

1. they don't dote on their future DIL so don't want to waste money on 四点金
2. brides don't feel accepted as part of the family without 四点金
3. relatives will talk because no 四点金
4. bride's parents feel insulted
5. bride lose face cuz no 四点金

I am sure there are more but the above 5 kinda sums up the bulk of it.

I really find this ridiculous. Did I miss something? Since when did Singaporean girls become so materialistic? Does the existence of 四点金 matter so much? I wonder what kind of foundation is the relationship of the soon-to-be wedded couple based on? It irks me even more when I read on to see other people commenting, "I understand how you feel". Sorry but I don't understand how you feel! Or even what you are thinking, for that matter!

One of them even said, "The market rate for 四点金 is around 10k". Is there really a market rate for this? 10k is really an unreasonable amount for an average-income family and 10K means nothing to well-to-do families. I wonder what she based her "market research findings" on?

to me, the 四点金 is just a symbol of tradition, which has to alter itself slightly in order to continue to exist in today's modern world. if you can afford it, then good for you. but if you can't, how can you expect to receive 四点金? that would be utter unreasonableness.

I know of some MILs who buy a simple gold chain or bracelet to give their DIL during the tea ceremony. It may not be 四点金 but it is a symbol of it. Others, simply just give you an angpao. This is an excellent example of keeping up with the times (and keeping up with your personal financial books).

Some brides called their MIL "stingy" or felt the "budget" was too little even though their MILs offered to buy them 四点金 and gave them the freedom to pick out what they wanted, based on the budget. If this is not being greedy, I don't know what it is.

it didn't even cross their minds that maybe their MIL cannot afford it or perhaps just the good ol' saying "it's the thought that counts".

Other brides on the forum mentioned their future MILs want to give them hand-me-downs as 四点金, and the brides are not happy. One of them even said, "so sian". Do they even know the value of gold is not based on the age of the piece of jewellery? or do the words "family heirlooms" mean anything to them?

what does it matter if you have the 四点金, but your MIL treats you like shit? Does that mean that she "dotes" on you a lot? I would rather have a good MIL then her 四点金! And the 四点金 means truly nothing to me if it doesn't come with good intentions and a good heart.

If you have to haggle and fight with your MIL in order to receive this 四点金.. what is the point?

I personally have a less than fantastic relationship with my MIL but in this case, I am left with no choice but to be on the side of the MILs.

honestly, if my future daughter-in-law had a such a mentality, I would think twice about gifting her with 四点金 too. It is definitely not a question of whether I can afford it, but a question of her character and her intention to marry.

Sorry.

I chickened out in the end.

:S

WORST pick-up line

"I like every bone in your body, including mine."

UGH!

Homeless student heads to Harvard - Very Inspirational

All the very best to her and I hope this won't be the last time we see her name in the news.

http://www.gnn.com/article/homeless-student-heads-to-harvard/539624?icid=main|main|dl2|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gnn.com%2Farticle%2Fhomeless-student-heads-to-harvard%2F539624

Am feeling jittery..

Cuz I kinda wrote a short story (amongst many others, in fact).. definitely chick lit.. but this is one of those I feel strongly for. And as I have mentioned to .J before.. I am contemplating publishing them here, on my blog, for ppl to read.

But I am still lacking.. courage. I am not confident that it will be good enough to be published so publicly! Cuz everyone will get to read it once I put it up here.. I dunno if i am up to it when it comes to criticisms.

But then again, I am looking forward to getting some honest opinions, to see what ppl think of my writing. (Or the reverse, not getting any kind of response at all!)

Maybe cuz this is quite a big deal for me.. I have always secretly wanted to be a writer. With my kind of imagination, ppl who know me should not be surprised.

So yea.. I am pretty close to finishing the story so I am seriously thinking this through.

Maybe once I have set my mind to it, my next post will be the beginning of my short story. I will break it up in parts and publish them.. cuz all in one post will simply be too much, even for a short story.

Just MAYBE, ok?

"All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go.."

I wish I were going off on a jetplane but I disappoint myself.

I am packing to move to my in-laws place, in a small effort to save some money for the new house coming up.

well some of you know what happened the last time I stayed with my then-future-in-laws. hopefully the recent change of status will make things a little bit different (and better) for us, in the good way for sure.

i have been moving ard a lot in the past years.. and honestly speaking, it's tiring. in the beginning, it was hard.. i had to get used to the change of environment, ppl and accessibility (or rather the lack of it) of the new places that I stayed in. but as i moved from one place to the next.. it kinda grew on me. I was an adaptable person to begin with.. so now i am just.. spent. I really hope this will be the last place i stay in before i get my own place.. cuz packing (and unpacking) can be hard work overtime.

So this week is gonna be packing week for me. the coming weekend will mark the beginning of yet another new home-stay for me.

i try to be positive and tell myself that at least i will get to see hubby everyday.. cuz that always makes everything better.

it's still working now, at least! :)

Hanson are POETS.

Hanson is an amazing band with unsurpassed talent, be it in songwriting or lyrical competence. And I won't hear of it any other way. They are musicians, so don't judge them by their appearance nor beliefs, judge them by their music.

THEIR MUSIC IS INCREDIBLE. Every time i listen to it, I fall right back in love with their music.

If they has been born during Shakespeare's era.. I'm pretty sure they would have made better poets than Sir William himself.

Here are some of my favourite lyric snippets from their music - judge for yourself..

"'Cause when the minutes seem like hours and the hours seem like days
Then a week goes by you know it takes my breath away
All the minutes in the world could never take your place
There's one-thousand-four-hundred-forty hours in my day"
From: A Minute Without You (Middle Of Nowhere)

"I'm looking for a song to sing
Looking for a friend to borrow
I'm looking for my radio
So I might find a heart to follow"
From: A Song To Sing (This Time Around)

"The wind it blows
Through the trees
Claiming those
Innocent leaves
And the thunder rolls
These crashing seas
Like a tender kiss
Holds it's heart in me"
From: Love Song (This Time Around)

"She counts the time 'til her heart breaks
Just waiting for her next mistake"
From: Watch Over Me (The Walk)

"From a distance I watched the flowers brush your cheek
As you read the words I wrote I couldn't speak
But now I lay here broken heart and blistered feet
As you're spinning 'round my mind"
From: Runaway Run (This Time Around)

"Cigars in the summertime under the sky by the light
I can feel you read my mind
I can see it in your eyes under the moon as it plays
Like music every line
There's a rug with bleeding dye under the fan in the room
Where the passions burning high
By the chair with the leopard skin under the light
It's always Penny and me tonight"
From: Penny And Me (Underneath)

"Been running through my mind today
Scenarios to add to your hypocrisy
No one ever takes the blame
But everyone is searching for a cure to the pain
Nothing ever seems to change
Oh, nothing ever seems to change
We just play like broken records in a deaf man's charade"
From: Strong Enough To Break (Underneath)

"One more for the night
One more for the pain and
One more, long goodbye
And one shot to the brain
And one more takes the knife
And one more takes the train
Who do I name today
Who do I blame today"
From: One More (The Walk)

"I find hope and it gives me rest
I find hope in a beating chest
I find hope in what eyes don't see
I find hope in your hate for me
Have no fear when the waters rise
We can conquer this great divide"
From: The Great Divide (The Walk)

And the best one of them all...

"Mmmbop ba duba dop ba du bop
ba duba dop ba du bop
ba duba dop ba du"
From: Mmmbop (Middle Of Nowhere)

Cuz seriously, who can make up a whole chorus only with sounds??

HANSON CAN!

Michelle Trachtenberg

Some ppl know her as Dawn Summers from Buffy.


Others know her as Georgina Sparks from Gossip Girl.


For me, I know her as Michelle Trachtenberg. There is something about her.. that spells danger in the air, like evil is always lurking around her somewhere.. it's captivating.. and slightly electrifying.. keeps the men interested and makes women fascinated.. and for me.. it makes me wanna look at her and not look away.


There is something mysterious about her eyes.. and yet when you look a little longer, they appear innocent at the same time.. kinda like a cross between Angelina Jolie and Lindsay Lohan. her gaze is effortless, all she has to do is look at you.. and everything around her becomes black and white and all sounds fall silent.. it's like the world is looking at her.. and only her..


She also reminds me of Vivian Hsu.. that if Vivian were a caucasian, Michelle Trachtenberg would be what she looks like. And on some occasions, Audrey Hepburn comes to mind too.


Her look is unique yet classic.. her face like a fashion brand.. her style is impeccable.. the best thing about her is that she is not another hollywood blonde. (God knows we have had enough of those.)


I would so turn lesbian for her.

When A Friend Goes Bad, Dump It.

i have a really good friend whom i've known for 18 years of my life now. i can safely say that we've gone thru a lot throughout our friendship from primary sch, to secondary sch, to our different career paths and now that we are both abt start our own families.

as a pri sch kid, she was a wild child. she would lock our classmates inside the toilet cubicles and laugh mercilessly outside or throw a ball of wet tissue at you for no reason. some would call her hyperactive, others naughty. i had always been the one friend who was able to control her wild way ways in sch, strange to speak.

in sec sch, she became a different person. it was like she had enough of her playful nature (or maybe she just grew up). she became this sweet and considerate friend, who would look out for me in sch and speak up for me against other frenemies. we knew each other inside out and were inseparable.

after we graduated from sec sch, we kinda went on to have other friends from all walks of life, her wild character surfaced from time to time with them.. but she was a young adult now so was able to draw the line between good, clean fun and outrageous fun on her own. sometimes i would check in with her when i felt she was getting a little bit out of hand and she would listen to me with no questions asked and returned to be being my sweet and considerate friend.

but as the years gone by.. her wild side surfaced more and more. perhaps due to the nature of our work being so different yet so intertwined with our lives, i am less able to relate with her these days. she works long hours while i hold a stable 9 - 6 job. she bosses ppl ard while i listen to my bosses. she has to be bitchy and demanding to make sure her work gets done while i have to refrain from being too aggressive at work lest colleagues ostracize me from the circle of trust.

one thing abt her that has remained constant from the time i knew her, is her time management - which is zilch. she is NEVER on time, and never had to wait for anyone since she is always the latest even though her watch is set to 15 minutes faster than the actual time. so she doesn't know the feeling of having to wait for someone.

the record time i have waited for her so far, is 3 hours. and that was probably wat set off my irritation since.

i've tried to get it across to her many times, using ALL ways. it is rude. it is inconsiderate. and it is tiring. if you know you are gonna be late or not gonna be able to make it at all.. say so earlier. dun let ppl wait. if your time is precious, then so is ours. let's not waste anyone's time, right?

she would always just smile and try to change the topic. like it means nothing to her.

and when for the umpteenth time she was 1 and a half hour late, i kinda resigned to fate that God had sent a friend such as her to test my patience. (which is as good as a sitting duck's by now.)

After 1 and a half hours when Friend finally shows up:
Friend - "I'm sorry."
Me - "You should be."
Friend rolls eyes.

WTF was that?? You say sorry then you roll your eyes?! I waited 1 and a half hours, FRIEND! And that rolling-eyes act was not testing my patience, it was testing my TEMPER!

I complained to Hubby abt this later that day and he commented: "Maybe you are just not important enough for her to be punctual."

I never thought about it that way, i just thot it was her wild side resurfacing, more aggressive than ever. after all a leopard would never change its stripes. she was just being her, the way she was back in primary school.. and instead of standing behind her pulling her back like i used to, i am now on the receiving end this time.

and maybe.. perhaps.. possibly.. hubby is right.

I am never meeting her again. NEVER EVER.

'We might need to see you without your bra, he told me. I was 14. I didn't even have breasts yet.'

It's a sad story, perhaps I would not be so judgmental next time I see a stick-thin model on the runway.

Read the article here.

MORPH MORPH MORPH!

It is such a slow Monday today.. I think I might just sit in my chair in office and die of.. die of the Monday blues. BORED is an understatement. :(

I was looking for something online (i can't rem wat now) and came across this website that enables you to upload photos of random ppl and morph their faces together to see what their kid would look like. HAHA. I had a blast! it was so fun and so simple to do!

I started out with, of cuz, hubbs and me!

i dunno why our kid turns out looking like she's from Cambodia..? but i think it is a girl! ! :) what do you think?

I later morphed myself with Britney.. i thot we ended up looking a lot like Jessica Alba, dun you think??? :p


Scarlet Johannson and I turned out quite an exoctic babe, eh??


and this, is not hard to guess who i morphed myself with!

Scary shit if you ask me!!

but the scarier shit is yet to come!

I reckon it is all my fault that I made Audrey Hepburn look like this! :(

then i decided to have a bit of fun.. i uploaded a photo of R Patz! HAHA! And this is what our "baby" looked like!

Not bad la hor.. got a bit "pak-zeng" look. Hahah! Can tell is a boy, right? :p

And one more Englishman.. my charming Ed Westwick!


And this is what our "baby" looked like!

So sweet! I am sure this is a girl!!

This is not easy to tell.. but this is my baby with Rowan Atkinson. HAHA! Something about her eyes is kinda comical, dun you think? :p

And so with this, i have decided I will marry Ed Westwick to produce beautiful children!!

I AM REALLY BORED, OK!

Archie Andrews

I have been a fan since I was in primary school (primary 4 or 5, i think). I don't remember who got me into it but i was quite obsessed. I would save for at least 2 new comic books each month and finish them in the same day i bought them. My good friends, till this day, know that I loved Jughead to bits!

After I went to secondary school, i stopped the routine of buying 2 new comic books each month. i spent my money on going out with friends and at the movies. so i re-read my existing collection over and over.. i must have read each comic more than 10 times each. my favourite ones easily 20 times each!

the last time i counted, i was in possession of 60 Archie comic books.

so i came across an article online today, saying Archie was finally gonna propose to one of the girls with which he has kinda been having a love-triangle with for the longest time. Archie fans would be very familiar with the characters of Veronica Lodge and Betty Cooper, the latter being the hot fave. and the catch now is, who is Archie gonna propose to?

The upcoming 600th cover of Archie Comic. Read article here.

Very misleading, dun you think?? i dun believe he will propose to Veronica!

I am so gonna get my hands on this copy when it comes on sale in September. My 1st copy after almost 20 years!

The 5th Teletubby?

So we all know that Posh did an ad campaign for Marc Jacobs some time back. but for me, i nv realli got to see any of the pictures cuz Marc Jacobs is not exactly commonly seen here in Singapore, unlike the Miu Miu ad campaign Katie Holmes did. (She looks amazing in it, btw! Check it out at the Miu Miu store in Paragon!)

so when i saw this picture online, i realli laughed out loud!!


Read the full article here, the comparison is hilarious!

Happy Friday, all! :)

And The American Idol is..

i have NEVER been a fan of American Idol.. i dun even know who is the 1st person to win the title.. (issit Kelly Clarkson?) but lately there has been an Idol craze all because of one person. ADAM LAMBERT.

so i was chilling at home last weekend.. channel surfing and came across Star World repeating whole of season 8, which leads up to its final showdown this week. so i caught a few people singing.. one of them Adam Lambert.

so yea, he was screaming and honestly, i couldn't take it. not that it didn't sound nice.. it did. but it also sounded a bit too futuristic. not something i wud expect to hear out of a singing competition. his singing is, indeed, theatrical more than anything.

but somehow.. there is something abt him standing on that stage.. belting out his number and looking totally in touch with his feminine side. some call it stage presence (or gay). i mus admit, he did attract more of my attention compared to his fellow contestants.

and last night, for the 1st time, i tuned in to the repeat of last weeks finale.

and when he sang Mad World.. I was won over. just how did he do that?? the right word to describe the performance, would be "haunting". so much so that i cud not get the song out of my head up until this morning.

and for the 1st time, i saw Kris Allen perform on Idol. he's actually the generic type of Idol contestant. nothing flashy.. jus a regular person with a great voice and out there doing his thing the best he can.

but the feeling he gives is very different from Adam's. Listening to Kris makes me feel very comfortable.. something i would put on on a long ride home on a bus. it soothes me in a way.

Adam's singing sounds like the soundtrack of his life.

so realli.. i cudn't quite decide whose side i was on. they both had their appeals.. but none had something that cud realli win me over.

but when i heard this morning that Kris Allen had won, i was glad! in fact, i was slightly more than glad.

cuz with this title, Kris is bound to go far.

as for Adam.. i felt he didn't need the title to prove anything. he was oredi quite a revolution and has created a legion of following. he wud go far, with or without the title.

to me, it is a win-win situation and i am happy with how this season's turned out. :)

so congratulations to Kris, and to Adam - We'll be seeing you ard. ;)

When You're Gone - Avril Lavigne

i'm probably kinda slow but i've only started to listen to Avril Lavigne's "When You're Gone" recently and found it realli addictive. what is realli addicting me is not the tune of the song or the lyrics or anything. In fact, the lyrics are very plain and simple, kinda like a typical sad love song. and the tune is jus very Avril too, her usual style of songwriting. but it is the way Avril sings in the song, so desperate, so intense and in pain that realli haunts me.

whenever i listen to it, i am instantly brought back to the lowest point in my life so far.. some of you wud be able to guess when. it is a very painful memory for me and listening to it realli jus refreshes the whole experience for me - the whole 3 months that i went thru in such agony, and made me such a different person then.

but it also makes me realli cherish my life now.. and the feeling that returns every once in a while serves as a constant reminder to not take things for granted.

i can't share the song with you here but if you have the chance, find a corner, sit down comfortably, close your eyes and listen to the song - with your heart. and tell me if you can feel the pain too?

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

Guy-next-door!

i thot i had spoken abt this before, but i had gone thru my past posts briefly and realised I actually had not.

my office is on the 13th level and on my level, there are 3 offices. we dominate the most part of the level and the 2 other smaller offices are taken up by, well, 2 other companies.

so for the longest time, i've observed this angmoh guy at our lift lobby from time to time, who strikes an uncanny resemblance to "Aidan" from Sex & The City. and most of u know i am from the Aidan Camp, not the Mr. Big Camp. So needless to say, everytime i see "Aidan" at the lift lobby.. my heart does little somersaults in my humble chest. i can sometimes hear the "swoosh" of the flips. HAHA.

so anywae, i surprised myself a little by showing interest in him cuz I have nv been someone who's attracted to races other than chinese. aside from celebrities, this is the 1st time i have been captivated by an angmoh!

"Aidan" is very charming.. he oozes sex appeal jus by being there, melts every cell in my body when he looks my way, even if it's for one second. i have colleagues who will readily second my comments!

a few times i have taken the same lift as "Aidan" and they are the most intense lift rides ever. HAHA. Maybe it is all on my side cuz I am so conscious that he is there in the lift with me but I just dunno how he does it.. it is that smouldering thing he does when he looks at u from underneath his eyelashes.. he's got this very 忧郁 look on his face most of the time. my colleague likes to think he ALWAES is having a bad day. hahah. but it sure is a very sexy look!

i've contemplated a few times to tell him that he looks like Aidan Shaw from Sex & The City but somehow i nv did it cuz 1. i am too stumped by his mere presence and get tongue-tied and 2. it seems as if i am trying to pick him up???

so well.. i end my "Aidan" entry with a picture of the real Aidan Shaw, of cuz! It is really the splitting image of MY Aidan next door! :p and i apologise for this super random post! HAPPY FRIDAY! :)

Lipstick Jungle

Season 2 finale of Lipstick Jungle was perfect.. it was romantic, it was cozy, it was beautiful.. it totally tugged my heartstrings and i haven't felt this way about a season finale in a looong time! (coincidentally the last time i felt this way abt a season finale was also a series based on Candace Bushnell's book.. Sex And The City.)

The sad thing abt the finale is that, they shot it as tho it's not coming back. no season 3. :( like the finale to season 6 of Sex And The City, it was a satisfying and perfect ending, leaving viewers with absolutely nothing else to ask for. i didn't like that.. i love Lipstick Jungle! i don't want it to end!

i love the friendship the 3 women share. that no matter how family-oriented or career-minded each woman were, they wud gladly and instantly drop everything to be a friend to one another.

also i love how they alwaes look impeccably dressed even when they jus got up in the morning. i kno that only happens on tv but still, i like looking at beautiful women (Lindsay Price is really pretty)!

not to mention their gorgeous locks, designer wardrobe and handsome "accessories" (men).. what's not to like abt the show?

i hope i find a good series to watch after this.. True Blood is just not holding up to its promise and absolutely not working its charm on me, if there is any to begin with.

Anyone has any good series to recommend?

Kelly feels like TRASH lately.

Dead Serious - Tinted Windows

Something about this song's lyrics makes it very endearing. Simple yet straight to the point. The catchy tune helps too! :)

Darling, when I say I will never leave you
Seems like you always say 'I don't believe you'
I know it's hard to take it to heart after all this time
But it's time to start cause

I know you think I take it all for granted
That's how it looks but not how I planned it
I can't make up for words unsaid
But that's not what's been going on in my head

I'm serious
Yeah baby, dead serious
Cause I've never felt like this before
And I'm not joking anymore
No, I'm serious
Yeah baby, dead serious
And you've got to take me at my word
Forget what you heard
Cause this time all I really want to say
Is I need you everyday

Darling, when I say I don't want to lose you
Seems like you think I just want to amuse you
I know it's hard to change your mind
After all the times I was way out of line and

Maybe you think I never really mean it
Maybe you feel it but you've never seen it
I can't make up for days gone by
But I've got to give it one more try

I'm serious
Yeah baby, dead serious
Cause I've never felt like this before
I'm not joking anymore
No, I'm serious
Yeah baby, dead serious
You've got to take me at my word
Forget what you heard
Cause this time all I really want to say
Is I need you everyday

HAPPY!

...simply cuz the tickets have arrived! :)