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♫ Stuff In My Head ♫

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Paying it forward. Forward forward forward x infinity!

I honestly can't believe that after all these time and all the things I have done/not done in order to make us all happier under one roof, she is still harping on the ghosts of the past.

I guess I only have myself to blame for giving her the bad impression from way back then. But if she is adamant about condemning me, what's the point in me trying to make things better? I am not surprised that this is still going on "backstage" but I am just impressed at how good an actress she is. She is truly a scary person to live with and I am glad that after 4 years, at least I have grown to be more matured. At least this time I did not throw an angry fit and confront her like I did 4 years ago. Maybe cuz I know where that will lead me, so this time I choose to keep mum even though I know about all the shit she is saying about me behind my back.

At the end of the day, I do not harbour any ill intentions with the things I do and the words I say. I do not have a guilty conscience and can put my head up high when I walk in that house. If she chooses to interpret my words and actions the way she does, there is really nothing I can do about it.

As long as he knows, I really don't care about what others think. Because I don't owe my life to anyone but me and my family.

I may not be the best daughter-in-law in the world, but that doesn't mean I haven't done my best to be. And only God can vouch for me on that.

And maybe the day she finds out she has been wrong about me all this time will be a long way from now. But I will wait patiently.

This is my "pay-it-forward".

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